Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Friday, November 19, 2010

Let's Help Out the TSA!

Here's how to do it:

Wear a loose top, like an oversized t-shirt. Women should wear a loose skirt with an elastic waist. Guys can wear loose pants or kilts (they were good enough for Mel Gibson, at least before he became a drunken, foaming-at-the-mouth anti-Semite).

Then, if you are selected for a TSA groping, just whip those suckers off. Undergarments would be a good idea to avoid a charge of indecent exposure.


By the way, if you are a drooling-on-yourself level imbecile, like Rep. John Mica, you might think that the solution is turning over the TSA security function to a bunch of private companies*, which will happily employ even lower-paid people to grope you.

The problem there, of course, is that the rent-a-cops will have to grope you to TSA standards and given that they will be making minimum wage to feel you up, the job will attract a whole host of Level III sex offenders. Because nobody who has the smarts to figure out how to run a french-fryer at McDonalds will want to grope people for a living.

(H/T for the flag)
____________________________
* Many of which gave large bribes campaign contributions to Mica.

2 comments:

BadTux said...

Men should wear kilts, in fine Scottish colors, wearing what every true Scotsman wears under his kilt -- shoes and socks ;).

- Badtux the Proposer-but-not-implementer Penguin

Lockwood said...

Ha! Badtux beat me to it, but Oregon Expat beat both of us.