Orange Felon Can't Tell Me What to Do

Words of Advice:

DONALD TRUMP IS A CONVICTED FELON. CASE CLOSED.

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

Democracy Dies When Billionaires and Hedge Funds Buy Newspapers.

"Never Get Into Anything With a 'Jesus Nut'." -- every fixed-wing pilot

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

Karma may sometimes be late to arrive.
But it never loses an address.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Shooting Yourself In the Back?

After Pinochet's coup in Chile, National Lampoon had a story from the junta's point of view that "Allende shot himself thirty times in the back from 20 feet away, pausing once to reload."

That came to mind when I read this story about a woman who supposedly strangled herself at the Phoenix Airport.

She had her hands handcuffed behind herself, she was shackled to a table and she managed to strangle herself?

I suppose anything is possible, but I have a hard time envisioning this.

My advice to the City Attorney for Phoenix would be: "Warm up your checkbook."

2 comments:

BadTux said...

Was it a table, or a bench? Other news accounts say a bench. WTF? Even the cops don't know what she was shackled to?! This story reeks worse than a dead whale that's been rotting on the beach for a week.

Comrade Misfit said...

This story reeks worse than a dead whale that's been rotting on the beach for a week.

Yepper.