There was a story in yesterday's New London Day (which I am not linking to because the link would expire rather quickly) concerning the Navy officers and sailors who volunteer (or are ordered) to go to Iraq to help out the Army. One of the things that happens is that the "IA"s or "Individual Augmentees" have to take a four week course in "how to play sojer", since the Navy isn't really into training folks about running around a desert with rifles.
The culture clash occurred at the start of the first class, when the very first question from the sailors was: "Where's the coffee pot?"
The Navy runs on coffee. If you went on a Navy ship and said: "I don't drink coffee," you might as well have announced that you were up for blowing the Chief Boatswain's Mate on the forecastle. If a ship ran out of coffee, the Supply Officer would probably be hung from the signal yardarm. That'd be worse than running out of toilet paper (yes, that has happened and it is no fun trying to do your business with copies of the XO's old memos or the Plan of the Day).
As for the Army: Not so much. But they learned quickly that if they want to have happy squids working for them, they'd better have a working coffee pot.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Troubles
1 hour ago
4 comments:
I once worked with a crazy Navy sonar operator who once was brought up on charges because the Navy thought he was the model for Tom Clancy's crazy sonar operator in _Hunt for Red October_. Anyhow, once that was done, his ship was gone so they stuck him in a clerical spot -- right by the coffee maker. Anyhow, he had some blood pressure problems. The doctor was puzzled because he was an otherwise young and healthy sailor. After trying a couple of medicines with no change, the doctor decided to send him out for a physical. The doctor said, "Remember, don't eat or drink anything for 12 hours before the physical." So of course the sailor says, "not even coffee?" "Well... how much coffee are we talking about?" "I usually drink four or five a day." "Hmm, four cups of coffee a day is a lot." "No, not four or five cups. Four or five pots." Because, after all, he was right there by the coffee maker. So he just kept his cup filled all the time, and sipped it steadily.
The physical was cancelled, and new doctor's orders issued: Two cups of coffee per day, one in the morning and one at noon. Period. He never had blood pressure problems again. But he sure grumbled.
Yeah, those Navy guys DO like their coffee.
Because, after all, he was right there by the coffee maker. So he just kept his cup filled all the time, and sipped it steadily.
Which is why I don't keep a coffee pot by my desk.
I wasted 6 years of my life in the freakin' Navy. Never drank the stuff then, don't drink it now.
Didn't even realize that I was such an oddball.
Didn't even realize that I was such an oddball.
Think your handle says it all, no? :)
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