Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Friday, April 16, 2021

As the Snitches Turn; Insurrection Ed.

A member of the far-right Oath Keepers militia group and heavy metal guitarist on Friday became the first defendant to plead guilty to federal charges in connection with the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol.

Jon Ryan Schaffer, the frontman of the band Iced Earth, has agreed to cooperate with investigators in hopes of getting a lighter sentence, and the Justice Department will consider putting Schaffer in the federal witness security program, U.S. District Judge Amit Mehta said.

This signals that federal prosecutors see him as a valuable cooperator as they continue to investigate militia groups and other extremists involved in the insurrection on Jan. 6 as Congress was meeting to certify President Joe Biden’s electoral win.

It's common lore that the early snitch gets the best deal. If you did the crime and they know you did the crime and they can prove you did the crime, the best way to a shorter sentence is to, as the old saying goes, turn state's evidence. The deals don't come much better than disappearing into WitSec.

That is, if this guy can do it. If he picks up his guitar and starts playing heavy metal and then maybe he and his buddies form a band, he's going to get found. I can't say for certain, but since most criminals are, at their core, stupid and lazy, going into a witness protection program only postpones the inevitable.


Tod Germanica said...

Bassist here, highly doubt he is a real Heavy Metal guitar player. No, maybe a 'Christian' heavy metal player. Metal concert fans are reputed to be mondo mellow when compared to the antics of country or rock concert partiers. All that catharsis? Deafness? Sure sounds at least tone deaf to me. Especially, I shudder to imagine, the Christian type heavy metal. Ever heard the musak they play in the St Vincent de Paul charity thrift shops? 'Nuf said.
As they said of his music when the hoosegow broke up the band, 'and nothing of value was lost'.

dinthebeast said...

According to their Wikipedia page, they are a real band, with real albums and real distribution.
Or make that they were a real band with real distribution; they were dropped by their label as soon as Mr. Schaffer was charged over the insurrection, and a couple of weeks later in a public statement, the rest of the band (except for the drummer) denounced the riot and quit.
I personally know some solid folks who play metal, but I also know some class A meatheads. In my experience, the guys who are all about the music are OK, if a little intoxicated, and the guys who are all about the image are kinda flaky.

-Doug in Sugar Pine

Ten Bears said...

Three chords ...

Dark Avenger said...

He can come here where I live in the San Joaquin Valley, work as a teacher, and then retire. I can guarantee that he’ll never be bothered by anyone ever again.