Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Monday, July 4, 2016

Aviating Assholes

1. Perfect footwear for an emergency evacuation:


2. I see more and more people traveling with "therapy" dogs. I'm 99+% sure it's bullshit. They want to take their little rat-dog with them on the plane, they don't want to put it into a carrier, and so they get a doctor-friend to write them something justifying the little mutt as a therapy dog. You can bet that, as they go about their daily affairs, that they don't take little Pootsy with them.

3. Some guy got a ride in a wheelchair from his flight down to baggage claim area. He's holding a cane between his legs. After he got out of the wheelchair, and the wheelchair attendant disappeared, the guy tucked his cane under his arm and walked briskly out of the terminal.

2 comments:

3383 said...

One doesn't need anyone to write anything for one's dog; the accouterments are available online at least.

The ADA forbids most from asking for documentation, and the bullshitters know it.

I will politely ask people in the grocery stre to at least stop handling produce with their stupid dogs in their arms, and they immediately lose their shit. Once they waited after the first "but he's so cuuute".

The store manager would rather not notice the health code violation than offend a customer.

The New York Crank said...

I don't have a dog but I do believe some of our "sanitary" laws are bullshit. Handling your dog and then the produce is no more germ-spreading, and possibly a lot less, than handling a four year old exposed to everything from street and sandbox dirt to pre-school mumps and measles carriers. And yet the kids ride in supermarket carts, and get to reach out and touch everything as they're wheeled down the aisles.

I'm not for banning kids. Or dogs. Just rinse your damn vegetables in the sink before you eat them.

In France, dogs go to restaurants. Without "therapy" jackets. They sleep under the table while their people eat.

So stop harshing on dogs already, 3383.

Yours very crankily, The New York Crank