Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

So, Anyway...

This morning I was sitting on my couch, having a cup of coffee and watching the sky light up from the Sun. I wasn't a morning person before, but I once lived in a high-rise by a large body of water. My apartment was high up and faced to the East. I loved sitting on the balcony in warm weather with a cup of coffee and the morning paper as the Sun rose over the countryside.

So, anyway, I'm sitting on the couch, enjoying that first cup of joe when one of my cats hopped up on the couch. It was readily apparent that she had managed to get poop all over her butt. So I picked her up, carried her to the bathroom, plunked her in the tub, washed the shit from her ass with baby shampoo and rinsed her off with the hand-held shower nozzle. After patting most of the water from her with a dish towel, I let her out of the bathroom to go and recover her dignity.



That turned out to be an apt metaphor for the rest of the day. I would have been better off calling off sick.

No comments: