Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

ID-10-T Computer Problems

Here is a free tip that will prevent the IT people in your office from raining abuse down upon your head:
If you are using Windows, the proverb "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" does not apply to sending print jobs to your printer. You can send three print commands or a million; if it won't print the first job, it ain't gonna print the rest.
(And if the problem is something simple, such as you forgot to load a ream of paper into the printer, when you do, all of those jobs are going to print out.)

Oh, if you want "simple", go do what the NYPD still does: Buy a typewriter and carbon paper.

That is all.

1 comment:

Marc said...

Reminds me of this old exchange:

"Back up your computer"

"I can't, it's up against the wall already"