Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Thursday, February 19, 2009

"Why I Voted Republican"

Feel free to add to the list.
Because I believe we *really* are a monarchy, not a democracy and that the President should have the powers of a King.

Because the idea of bombing Iran makes me salivate like a bitch in heat.

Because I believe the Constitution is just a goddamn piece of paper.

Because the rule of force trumps the rule of law.

Because we need more poor people.

Because an obese drug addict with a radio show told me to.

Because I *love* catchy phrases like "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" and "BRING 'EM ON."

Because clean air is so darn overrated.

Because the thought of torturing people brings me close to orgasm.

Because "habeus corpus" was dreamed up by a bunch of men wearing tights.

Because unadulterated prescription drugs are not important to me.

Because I think my chances of getting salmonella are very low.

Because visiting those national monuments *should* include seeing the wonders of mechanization that those oil well rigs represent and the patches of dirty crude broken and discarded pipe enhance the experience, too.

5 comments:

One Fly said...

Because Jeebus died for me and his daddy speaks to me directly.

Mark said...

Because facts are for liberal weaklings.

Lockwood said...

Because when I finally get wealth and power I damned well aim to keep it forever.

Roberta X said...

So, how long have we had a Democratic majority in the Senate and House, and why have they not gotten rig of the "Patriot" Act? 'Splain me dat? Veto? That worry is gone and still, nothing.

Sorry, your guy is more of the same with different chrome.

Comrade Misfit said...

And how many years did it take Dubya to screw things up? Seems to me that anybody who has ever wrenched on anything knows that it is easier to screw things up than it is to make things right.