Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Saturday, February 21, 2009

A Bit of Federal Humor

This applies to just so many agencies.
A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Montana , and talks with an old rancher.
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown
drugs."

The old rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there" as he
points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of
the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he
removes his badge and proudly displays it to the farmer. "See this badge?
This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish ...on any land. No
questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you
understand?"

The old rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA
officer running for his life chased close behind by the rancher's prize
bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it
seems likely that he'll get "horned" before he reaches safety. The officer
is clearly terrified. The old rancher throws down his tools, runs to the
fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....

"Your badge! Show him your badge!"

2 comments:

Earl said...

I like that story, thanks! Sorry about the software and camera problem.

Dan brock said...

It's from my ancestral homeland and the humor's at the DEA's expense.
What's not to love?