Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Where'd the Fraking Kids Go This Year?

Two years ago, I almost ran out of candy at Halloween. I had bought four bags of the stuff.

Last year I bought six bags and almost ran out. I was only giving a couple of the little bags to the kids for the last hour in order to stretch it out.

Last night, the weather was perfect for trick-or-treating. I bought seven bags of candy. So few kids came by; I was just about shoveling out candy to the last few trick-or-treaters.

I have over three bags left. All of it is some variety of chocolate (if I were a kid, I would despise Skittles and the other fruit-flavored "healthy" candy).

My co-workers are going to hate me next week, for I am going to "chocolate-bomb" the kitchen at work.

4 comments:

Fixer said...

I had only 5 kids this year.

deadstick said...

We didn't get a lot this year...but 7 of the 10 houses on our cul-de-sac had their porch lights off, and the three that did were at the end, around the bend and not clearly visible from the entrance, so I suspect some parties just passed on by. Lot of kids in the neighborhood.

BadTux said...

I'm one of the ornery folks who deliberately stayed away from my apartment until after all the shorties' bedtime. Saves on candy costs ;).

- Badtux the Mean Penguin

Earl said...

It comes and goes, the neighborhoods change. I insist that the wife take the candy out of the house to work or church, bomb your co-workers sounds like a great idea.