Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Bailouts For the Big Boys, Terms and Conditions

If I were in charge, these would be my terms for writing a $700 billion check to the Secretary of the Treasury to bail out those fuckers:

1) Total transparency. No secret deals. Every buyout deal, with all of the gritty details, gets posted on the Internet.

2) Rigorous oversight. An oversight board, exercising control-by-negation, oversees everything. Congress has to be involved in this.

3) A piece of the action. Treasury will buy those toxic securities from the banks at the price the banks set, but the banks will then have to give the Treasury stock in the bank equal to the percentage of those toxic assets. If the bank says that it has assets of $50 billion and $20 billion are toxic, then the Treasury gets 40% of the stock in the bank, and by "stock," I mean all classes of stock: Common, preferred, whatever they have. The Treasury then will try to sell the toxic shit and, whatever they get for it, that much of the stock will be given back to the bank.

4) Cap the pay. Those fuckers were greedily stupid enough to get into this mess, they do not get to reap the rewards of their foolishness.

5) Obama and McCain must both sign onto the plan. If not, no deal. Neither one of them gets to spend six weeks running against the bailout. If they won't put a lid on their personal ambitions long enough to do what needs to be done, then the world can go down the fucking tubes and they can bear the blame for it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This sounds very realistic and fair and would accomplish what the Treasury Dept. says it needs.

Well except for that blank check and unfettered and unaccountable power.

You know - little details.

I cannot believe they would expect to get what they demand.