Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Pro Tip on the "Hot Water Challenge"

Another teenager has been injured in the sickening "Hot Water Challenge," where friends dump scalding hot water on an unsuspecting person.

An Arkansas boy suffered first and second-degree burns after his friends allegedly heated up water in the microwave and tossed it on him while he was asleep at a friend's house on Sunday.
Don't be surprised if a future victim opts to try the "Bullet Challenge" in retaliation.

This is no shit: Many decades ago, I was on a group camping trip. We had two large pots of water over the fire on a large steel grate for doing dishes. I was cleaning up (basically doing KP) and I was lifting the heavy pot of rinse-water from the grate. Another kid dashed up and, while I was holding the pot, rinsed his mess kit plate. When he pulled it out, he sprinkled boiling hot water onto my arms. I shrieked and dropped the pot, which sloshed boiling hot water over my legs.

I yelled a string of words, most of them not family-friendly, took three steps to the pile of of firewood and grabbed an axe. I yelled something else, probably an obscenity-laden war cry, and took off after the kid. He was no dummy, he began running as soon as he saw where I was going.

That kid was not a good runner. But he'd have blown right by Usain Bolt that day. I went maybe fifty yards and by then, the red haze of vengeance had faded. I went back to the campsite, where one of the parents poured cold water over my legs.

From then on, the rule was that the fire was to be allowed to go out over the hot water pots and they were to cool before anyone tried to move them. I didn't have to do any more turns at KP. And everyone seemed to have decided that the less said about my channeling Red Sonja, the better.

2 comments:

Borepatch said...

All of the good stories start with "This is no shit" ....

w3ski said...

I knew you are a Warrior by your words. It's no surprise to me that you reacted so, even at a young age.
I too have felt the red anger
w3ski