Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, April 3, 2017

Trump Joke

So, anyway, Donald Trump was burned to death in a fire. The city ME called Eric and Don, Jr. to come down to the morgue to try to identify the body. The medical examiner had his assistant roll the body tray out of the fridge, and then the assistant lifted the sheet from the face of the body.

The two sons looked. Eric said: "Jeez, I don't know. He's really cooked."

Don said: "Hey, I know, roll him over."

Eric said: "Yeah, roll him over."

Mystified, the ME nodded to his assistant, who rolled the body over.

Eric and Don looked closely at the corpse's butt.

Don said: "Nope, that's not Dad."

Eric said: "Yep, he ain't Dad."

The ME asked: "How can you be so sure from looking at his posterior?

Don said: "Dad had two rectums."

Eric said: "Yeah, he did."

The ME asked: "I never heard of a man having two rectums. Are you sure about that?"

Eric said: "Well, we never saw them, but every time we went out to eat, people would say: 'Hey look, there's Trump with the two assholes!'"


Remember to tip your server and try the linguini.

3 comments:

Nangleator said...

This joke makes me feel good. Particularly the beginning.

Dead-trump jokes might turn into a thing. Let me have a go:

President* trump and his entire cabinet are gnawed to death by sewer rats over the course of 18 hours. 6 hours later, the rats start expelling the solid waste into a giant mound on the White House lawn...

Something something

"Yeah, but the poll numbers of the mound of rat shit are way up!"

D. said...

Nangleator: Do sewer rats eat their own?

hans said...

GOOD ENOUGH TO STEAL. THANK YOU.