Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Jobs the World Doesn't Need

"Cicerone". That is a "beer professional". Yes, there is such a thing, and you can be certified as one. You can become a "certified beer server"!

In my day, the "beer professional" was called a "bartender" or, if he owned the joint, a "saloon-keeper".

But no, now we have hoity-toity beers and professionals to tell you the merits of each beer.

My one tip about drinking beer: Make sure that the first two or three are good beers. After that, you can switch to Naragansett, or whatever the locally-produced industrial slop happens to be, because you won't care.

("Cicerone"... sounds like somebody from Cicero. Which was were a lot of the high-class mobsters used to live, back in the day.)

5 comments:

J4rh34d said...

I live and work in Portland, Oregon. There IS no local industrial swill. There ARE over 60 breweries, just in the city limits.

Cicerone is an old term for guide, and probably does trace back to Marcus Cicero. Think of it as a beer sommelier. With hundreds of local beers to choose from it is helpful to have someone to educate and describe about the offerings. In addition, there is beer storage (I have some 20yo beers laid down), serving, appropriate glassware especially for Belgian styles), and food pairings (Mars bars go great with Guinness.).

I'm a diabetic. I can have maybe two beers a month. They had damn well be good ones.

dinthebeast said...

I used to make my own beer, back when I drank beer. Does that count? I did pick up some bits of wisdom in the process, though, like don't try to hop your stout with green bud from Humboldt county, because it tastes remarkably good, and when your friends want a second bottle before the first one really kicks in, your front room will look like Jonestown...

-Doug in Oakland

Ten Bears said...

Here in Bend (OR), per capita the worlds largest producer of beer, we twenty-five breweries in a city a quarter the size of Portland. There are those, though, of a questioning bent who wonder if, not knowing how much water, not knowing how to even measure an aquifer to find out, how much we have if it is appropriate to literally give it away to be bottled and exported at an obscene profit.

No, Deschutes beer doesn't come from the Deschutes River. Unsafe levels of mercury.

montag said...

Hi neighbor! Have a 'Gansett.

It's still around.

http://www.narragansettbeer.com/our-story

CenterPuke88 said...

Reminds me of Dixie beer. The locals said that the various storage and brewing containers at Dixie Co. were simply used as was until they made a batch that started to make people hurl; then they'd shutdown, clean the place and resume brewing. It always was a little too salty for my taste, but it definitely went with seafood.