Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Friday, August 22, 2014

When Bagpipes are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Bagpipes.

Bagpipers have expressed their fear over a new law which led to two US teenagers having their pipes seized by border control staff at the weekend.

Campbell Webster, 17 and Eryk Bean, 17, both from New Hampshire had their pipes seized while travelling between Canada and the US, just two days before they were due to fly to Scotland for the World Pipe Band Championships.

Mr Webster’s pipes, which were previously used by his father in his role as an official piper to the Queen, were confiscated by officials because they are made out of ivory.
They have to get a certificate from the Federal fish cops that the ivory in their old pipes complies with the law and then they have to leave and enter the country through a small number of airports that have goons inspectors trained to recognize what the certificates mean.

At least the pipers may not be replaced by robots anytime soon.

2 comments:

The New York Crank said...

But he really was keeping people safe by threatening to shoot them. See, if you put a bullet through somebody's head or heart, the bad guys can't come by and kill him.

Yours crankily,
The New York Crank

The New York Crank said...

Whoops, I commented on the wrong post. This belongs below on "Officer Go F. Yerself Gets Benched.

What can I say? It's Friday.

Crankily (etc)
The New York Crank