Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Friday, August 8, 2014

Probably a Good Thing to Move that Funeral; Mean-Spirited Bigots Edition

Julion Evans' family was gathered beside his casket when they got the call. His memorial service, scheduled just hours later at New Hope Missionary Baptist Church, was not going to happen.

The reason, they say: Mr. Evans was gay.
This may be apocryphal, but I was told a story once of a man who died young and whose funeral was held at the family church. The pastor was well acquainted with the various social transgressions, moral failings and outright criminal acts which had been perpetrated by the late, great Bubba.

At the service, the pastor chose to expound, at length, on Bubba's misdeeds and to proclaim to everyone present, including Bubba's grieving mother, just why a certain righteous Lord had already damned Bubba's eternal soul to Hell.

That didn't go over very well with Bubba's family, nosiree. Several visibly upset and large male cousins of Bubba's had to be restrained by their mothers from storming the pulpit and engaging in a forceful discourse with the pastor. But thanks to the senior women in Bubba's extended family, pious decorum prevailed.

(It was probably just a coincidence that, after the funeral service, the pastor tripped and fell, several times, in the parking lot.)

1 comment:

Deadstick said...

Gloria in excelsis Deo...