Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Border Between Reality and Satire Can Be Pretty Thin; DoD Edition.

See if you can tell the difference!
A. The Departmernt of Defense has spent $179 million trying to train gorillas to be warriors.

B. The Air Force has responded to pilots' criticisms that the F-22's oxygen system is hazardous to the pilots' health by saying, in effect: "Suck it up, Cupcakes. You'd rather be operating a Predator drone?"
It's B.

The military has been flying airplanes with installed oxygen systems since before the Second World War. The F-22 has a lot of combat system capabilities, but other than the "supercruise", I don't know as it can fly higher or faster than a fifty five year old F-4. The published numbers show that a F-15 can fly as high and faster. So I'm inclined to give the Air Force a brown Bullshit Card on this one.

5 comments:

LRod said...

Of course you could see that fifty five year old "Phantom" from twenty miles away with the naked eye by the twin trails of incompletely combusted JP-4. At least the F-22 is better at that.

By the way, you could also identify C-130s and B-52s the same way, but by counting the trails—four for Hercs, eight for BUFFs.

LRod
ZJX, ORD, ZAU retired

w3ski said...

I read where the F 22's have even tried to kill mechanics while they worked on it. Why don't we give them to the other guys and let them get killed by that plane.
w3ski

CenterPuke88 said...

Whadda you mean "used to"...unless it's a J model Herc, you can still do that. It's the easiest way to quiet down a whining 737 pilot you've leveled off..."Traffic, 12 o'clock, 13 miles, opposite direction, one thousand feet above you, a heavy B-52...just look for the smoke...expect higher when clear".

And for those of you expecting an altitude instead of "one thousand feet above you", it just takes the first pilot responding "Roger, out of two-two-zero for two-three-zero" to cause your ass to swallow a seat cushion! Then you stop making the calls in a way they can mistake for a clearance higher or lower.

LRod said...

I always said the altitude, but I was also acutely aware of the recipe for disaster, so made sure it was crystal clear that the traffic call was of the "merging targets" variety and not a conditional "higher (or lower) later" piece of information. Tenerife is the poster child for the disastrous, anticipatory kind of transmission and subsequent action.

Where'd you work, by the way?

LRod
ZJX, ORD, ZAU retired
former Center Puke

CenterPuke88 said...

ZFW