Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The Chair Force Combat Medal

I wish this was a joke from Duffel Blog. But it isn't. Now, some frakking gamer who is sitting in a comfy chair in Nevada can get a medal for killing people on the other side of the world.
The Pentagon is expected to announce today the creation of a medal that can be awarded to drone operators as well as to individuals fighting in the cyberwar trenches.

This would be a first. The Distinguished Warfare Medal, a nearly two-inch-tall brass pendant below a ribbon with blue, red and white stripes, will be handed out to people judged to have racked up "extraordinary achievement" directly tied to a combat operation but at a far remove from the actual battlefield....
.
That's right, a "combat" medal for some REMF whose biggest on-the-job risk is getting a paper cut, or possibly eye strain from watching a monitor. No risk to themselves, no bravery under fire is called for. Hell, the only risk they have of getting shot is if they cheat on someone else's spouse or if they walk into a liquor store that's being robbed.

And it gets even better! In order of precedence, the Chair Force Attaboy Gong is higher than the Bronze Star, a medal that, when awarded with a "v" for valor,* is typically given for bravery in the kind of combat where the enemy is shooting at you.

This is bullshit. This frakking "combat" medal cheapens the medals that are given to the real fighting men and women, the people who perform real acts of bravery. There is no "combat" involved in playing cybergeek or sitting at a drone control station near Vegas. The actor in the Barbasol commercial** came closer to actual combat then the Chair Force "soldiers" who would be eligible for this new medal.

What's next, a medal for neocon chickenhawks?

UPDATE:  The Duffel Blog's suggested design for this Combat Gamer's Medal:

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* Without the "v for valor", the Bronze Star has been given to Fobbit/garritrooper officers who could hear gunfire way off in the distance.
** I can't tell what rifle he's carrying. There is something roundish at the back of the receiver and the barrel looks too short for a Garand.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Absolutely disgraceful.

CDR Salamander says everything I want to say, but am too sputtering mad to.

Old NFO said...

O.M.G. Absolutely ridiculous...

Nangleator said...

Probably won't be too long before they won't get any more recruits unless they can promise "good jobs." Those are the ones that get the best medals anyway, right? So no more recruits in anything but extreme comfort, close-to-home jobs in cushy chairs with state-of-the-art gaming rigs from which they can play with America's finest killing machines.

KP duty will be popping open another tube of Pringles or nuking a Hot Pocket. (Of course, Haliburton will net billions for doing so, despite regularly poisoning our bemedaled heroes.)

montag said...

If the pukes get a paper cut while "flying" their mission will they be eligible for a Purple Heart?

CenterPuke88 said...

Instead of a "V" for valor, shouldn't it be a "P" for pwned?