Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Saturday, August 1, 2009

What the Hell Was That?

So the other night I'm channel-surfing and I stumble across some old movie. Really old. It had James Mason as some sort of Chinese nobleman; he squinted his eyes and talked in a sing-song accent that sounded worse than Dick Van Dyke trying to sound like an Englishman. I'm not certain about this, but I think Omar Sharif was in it and he was waving around a Samurai sword.

(About the only person who looks less convincing than James Mason as a Chinese nobleman would be a remake of Yentl starring Shaquille O'Neal.)

I saw maybe 30 seconds of it. I didn't note the channel or the time.

Does anyone have any idea what that celluloid catastrophe was?

6 comments:

montag said...

Sounds like "Genghis Khan" (1965) which he probably decided to do because there were no good Nazi officer roles available at the time.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059219/

deadstick said...

You want catastrophe? I'll give you catastrophe. Yes, it was "Genghis Khan", 1965, like montag says -- but if you want a REALLY bad movie about Genghis, check out "The Conqueror" with John Wayne.

SkinnyDennis said...

Yeah, I stumbled across the beginning on the the same night, and stumbled my way thru about half of it. It never did get any better. But it worked. I eventually fell asleep.

Amazing they've kept this jewel under wraps all this time on graveyard tv.

Cathy said...

Not long ago PBS had a program about the era of the "Hollywood Chinese" film, where Caucasian actors played Chinese or other Asian characters in yellowface. John Wayne was among the notables.

deadstick said...

"Caucasian actors played Chinese"...
Likewise Native Americans. Real Indians could whoop and holler and chase the stagecoach, but Chuck Connors played Geronimo...

SkinnyDennis said...

Brando was on the other day in Teahouse of the August Moon. As a Okinawan. Good flick. I read on IMDB where moviegoers would exit the theater complaining that Brando was in the credits but not in the film...