Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Going to Hell

A few years ago, I woke up early on a nice, crisp September afternoon. Feeling a burst of energy, I grabbed soap, a short ladder and brushes and I headed for the airport to wash and wax the ol' airplane. My airport does not have a wash station, so I flew to a nearby one and washed the airplane there. After washing it, I flew back to dry it off in the slipstream, and then I commenced to wax it.

Washing an airplane is like washing a few cars, as airplanes have a lot more surface area than do cars. You spend part of the time on your back washing the belly and, if you have a low wing airplane, you are on your back washing the bottom of the wings. If you have a high wing, you spend the time on a ladder washing the upper side of the wings. (If you have a biplane, you do both.)

At one point, I broke for lunch and ate at the airport cafe. I finished up the job around mid-afternoon.

I got home tired and satisfied, for it was a day of good work.

And then I looked at the calendar. It was Yom Kippur.

On a day of reflection, contemplation and fasting, I had worked my ass off and I had eaten lunch. And not just any lunch, no, I had eaten a bacon-cheeseburger. On Yom Kippur.

Yep, I'm doomed.

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