Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

New Security Measures at Bass Pro Shops?

From an email:
Gun Control has already started at Bass Pro Shops Sporting Goods.

When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets at my local Bass Pro Shop, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader.

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.
I still do not think I looked that bad.
Posted by on or about 08:35
Labels:

3 comments:

D. said...

*cackle*

This must go to the repository of misunderstanding in which lives "Man to genie in sweet shop: 'Make me a malted.'"

9/30/2014 1:19 PM
The New York Crank said...

Should the cashier be arrested for demanding an obscene performance?

Only asking

Crankily,
The New York Crank

9/30/2014 9:39 PM
Joe said...

Didn't know that was illegal in New York.

10/01/2014 8:23 AM

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