Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, September 15, 2014

Why Have a Car Alarm?

First off, nobody pays attention to them. Everyone assumes that the alarm is going off because a cat jumped on the hood or just because.

Second, all of your neighbors will hate you.

I worked at a plant where one of the more hated managers had an expensive car with an alarm. He parked it next to one of the buildings. The building had a basement door that opened onto the parking lot. It became a game to run out, kick the side of the car and then run back in, while someone else timed how long it took for that manager to run down from his office to ensure that nothing was wrong with his precious.

1 comment:

Leo Knight said...

We had a neighbor with one of those truly obnoxious car alarms with the multiple tones that sound for several minutes. It was so sensitive that if I stomped my foot on the sidewalk next to the car, it would give off the warning "beep-boop" noise. It would usually go off at about 4 in the morning. People would call the police, not for a theft, but for all the noise in the wee hours. He soon got rid of the alarm.