Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, January 7, 2013

Sports News That No Rational Person Should Give a Shit About

At 5 a.m. on Sunday morning, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and NHLPA Executive Director Don Fehr stepped before reporters’ microphones at a midtown Manhattan hotel to announce they had reached an agreement on the framework of a deal to end the owners’ 113-day lockout of the players.
Somebody would have to meet the legal definition of "rabid" in order to care about the NHL anymore. Those momzers seem to spend more time either on strike or being locked out than they do grabbing the blue line (or whatever the hell they do in that game).

First, there ought to be a law that hockey can only be played in outdoor stadiums. With no artificial cooling of the rink. It is a winter sport and it has no more legitimacy in being played in southern California or Florida than Mitt Romney has to call himself "unemployed". You don't like being cold, go watch basketball.*

Second, any sport where the TV announcers have to show you where the damn thing they're bashing around is shouldn't be watched on TV. Pay attention, if you really like it.

Third, they might as well face up to what the NHL thinks the fans really want and make the players skate in full suits of armor and carry appropriate weaponry. An axe-fight on ice might be pretty interesting television.

It is time to pull the plug on the NHL. Hockey should go back to being played by kids on frozen ponds.
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* I feel the same way about football. It should be played in outdoor stadiums in cold weather in places like Pittsburgh, Chicago, Green Bay and Duluth. Indoor football stadiums are the handiwork of Lucifer. It's a fall and winter outdoor sport. Suck it up, Cupcake.

1 comment:

w3ski said...

Hockey to me is just a more violent and pricey version of "Roller-Ball". What was the old saying "I was watching a fight last night and a hockey game broke out". I am not a sports fan anyway but it seems to be on the same level as football or pro wrestling. A brawl for the "fans". Better than going out and looking for a fight I figure.
w3ski