Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Baby Lawyer

This really did happen:

A mother and her child were at home. Mom was sitting at the dining room table, reading the morning newspaper, when she heard noises from up the stairs.

"Sweetheart, don't play on the stairs."

"OK, Mommy."

Ten minutes later: Thumpity-thump-thump--"Waaaaaaa!"

Mom rushed out of the dining room to the stairs, found the child crying at the foot of the stairs and said, in a loud tone of voice: "I told you not to play on the stairs!"

In between sobs, the child replied: "I was playing on the landing!" (The staircase turned 90 degrees about six steps up from the bottom and had a landing at the turn.)

Yeah, that kid's going to grow up to be a lawyer. Or a politician.

(H/T to my sister)

1 comment:

lisahgolden said...

Oh. That sounds like some of the literal hair-splitters I live with!