Department of Homeland Security Follies

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If we can't do away with DHS, can we at least give them a name that sounds less like the fully translated names of the Gestapo and the KGB? "Homeland Security" makes them sound as though their plainclothes officers should be wearing black leather trenchcoats and carrying Lugers, while their uniformed officers, like the Customs and Border Patrol goons, should be wearing hobnailed jackboots and goose-stepping during parades.

They could take a few hints from these guys. DHS agents should be armed with these guns. We should change the working uniform for the Customs thugs to frilly tutus and ballet slippers, anything to remind them that they are not a bunch of all-powerful fascist gorillas.

And why, by the way, is DHS sponsoring NPR shows? That'd be like the National Cattlemen's Association sponsoring a book of tofu recipes.