Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Caturday, Jake Update

The vet wants me to collect a urine sample. His idea was to empty the litter box and then leave it empty, because some cats would use it anyway,

I vetoed that idea. Jake is likely to show his displeasure by peeing next to it. Or on my bed.

Second idea: Put him in the carrier for a few hours prior to the followup visit. That didn't sound like a good idea, for he'd just soak his fur in pee. What I needed was to have him above the floor of the carrier.


So I went to the hardware store and just wandered around. One of the kids there asked if he could help me find what I needed. I told him that I had no idea what I needed.

I found these:


They're sink liners. You use them to keep from scratching the porcelain. And so, with a little bit of scissors work:


I doubt if he'll pee in the carrier. But at least I'll have tried to collect a sample.

2 comments:

David said...

My wife, who actually is a DVM, unlike myself, who only offers unsolicited advice on the Internet, recommends some variety of non absorbent litter.

She says it should take the form of small plastic pellets, which will allow the urine to pool in the bottom of the pan for collection. Gross, I know, but it should achieve the desired ends.

Alternatively, your Vet may be able to sample directly from the bladder as a last resort. Be SURE to tell him/her that you heard about the procedure on the Internet. They LOVE it when that happens. ;-)

dinthebeast said...

My friend Sara's cat Charlie just had to have bladder surgery, and she went through the whole song and dance with urine samples and retaliation and all of the other fun stuff. She says her vet showed her a place on Charlie's belly to push with her finger to make him pee a little for the sample collection. She also said there was a line on the vet bill that said:
1 Slim Jim cat catheter.
I asked her if they were planning on breaking in to him, and she said no, they used a scalpel...

-Doug in Oakland