Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Thursday, November 3, 2011

One Way to Start the Restoration of the Greatness of America

Go to every business school in the country, lock the faculty inside and implode the fucking buildings. Then you go to about half of the law schools and repeat the exercise.*

"Professional managers" have had their fingers on the dismantling of the American manufacturing base. Their focus on "the bottom line", on quarterly profits, and their self-interest in arranging things so they get paid based on short-term results have been the overwhelming factor in the decline of manufacturing, which was the major source of decent jobs for high-school graduates.

I also don't want to overlook the corrosive effect of several large retail chains, whose focus on price over any degree of quality helped to push the making of a lot of goods offshore. Between those asswipes and the MBAs, factories have been chasing the cheapest workers, as they moved from the northeast to the south, then to Mexico, Honduras, Taiwan, China and more recently, to Vietnam and Burma. They seek places where workers get paid very little and the governments are unconcerned with issues such as pollution and worker safety.

Because cleaning up one's operation and providing a safe workplace costs money that otherwise would go into the pockets of the MBAs.

The corrosive effect of the focus on the bottom line is also playing out across the state of Connecticut. The main electrical utility in the state, Connecticut Light and Power, has so slashed the number of line repair and maintenance crews that every time there is a little bit of a problem, CL&P has to hire contractors from as far away as Michigan.

It's not just CL&P, of course. All of the utilities have slashed maintenance. You can drive around just about everywhere and see utility lines that have become overgrown with vegetation, to the point that the only ones that they sort of still try to keep clear are very high-tension lines. They have taken a Ford Pinto mentality that it's cheaper to repair line breaks than it is to prevent them.

That is what professional managers do: They figure out whatever will put the most money into their pockets right now. They postpone repairs and maintenance, not only is it more profitable in the short therm to do that, but because they also are betting that by the time the entire house of cards cashes down, it will be somebody else's problem.

That same mentality is behind the underfunded maintenance of American roads. One example which is New York, which has deliberately raided the highway maintenance fund for years, which is not the only dedicated user-funded maintenance fund that they've tried to raid.

You know things are bad when car companies make commercials that say "American roads suck."



We need to get back to making shit right. We can do that, in part, by relegating the MBA degree to the same amount of respect as having a degree in advanced heraldry.**
___________________________
*Start by torching every one that has opened since 1975.
** That's not entirely fair. The MBA degree should be regarded as the equivalent of being convicted for being a homicidal pedophile.

15 comments:

Improbable Joe said...

Hah!

Instead of executions, I'd suggest infrastructure maintenance chain gangs. March them out of the business schools, and away from their offices and off their yachts, and straight to the line. When all the roads are fixed, they can get started on the power lines and school buildings.

Nangleator said...

Excellent suggestions!

I'd add an appropriate punishment for those that shipped jobs out of the country: Tie them naked in a room, and for every American job they destroyed, add one fire ant to the room.

Open the room a week later.

Fixer said...

Go to very business school in the country, lock the faculty inside and implode the fucking buildings. Then you go to about half of the law schools and repeat the exercise.

Word.

Frank Van Haste said...

Dear Miss Fit:

So, should I send my MBA back, or would it be enough to hide the certificate in a dark place and never admit to anyone that it was awarded?

FVH

Ruckus said...

So my response to the later post should go here. The Must Be Asshole degree from our vaulted business schools is one of the keys to the mess we are in today.

And the fix is as you stated.

Fixer said...

Ruckus - I wouldn't hire an MBA too clean up after my dogs, let alone to run my business.

dinthebeast said...

You know, my dad used to build roads for the Forest Service. I saw what he did on numerous occasions, and none of it would I trust to any of the MBAs I've known. When the road or bridge fails, real people can die.

-Doug in Oakland

BadTux said...

I'd suggest relegating the MBA's to jobs as sandwich artists, but then people would start dying of food poisoning. I honestly can't think of any job that MBA's are good at (other than ruining formerly-good companies with their sociopathic cold-blooded lizard-person focus on their employees and customers as prey rather than people). I suppose we could give them some unimportant job like digging holes for other MBA's to fill in, they wouldn't do that job well either, but (shrug)...

- Badtux the "They call it the Master of Bullshit Arts" Penguin

montag said...

Tux, if you need a job that an MBA can safely fill, how about riding shotgun on a honey truck. Junior apprentice honey dipper should be a safe position. If they make a mistake they fall into the honey pit. Problem solved.

BadTux said...

I suppose "shark tank cleaner" would be a relatively safe place for MBA's. Preferably without taking the shark out first ;).

- Badtux the Vicious Penguin

Comrade Misfit said...

Especially without first removing the sharks.

(Of course, lawyers can do that job in perfect safety, due to professional courtesy.)

A better use for MBAs may be in clearing minefields: Just have them all walk back and forth until the explosions cease.

Martin Langeland said...

How about land mine clearance projects. Nice aerobic exercise. No pension worries unless you manage to miss even the last one you step on. Only MBAs need apply.
--ml

Comrade Misfit said...

Frank, you could tell people that you were in trade school.

(Your comment got snagged in the spam filter.)

Frank Van Haste said...

Dear Miss Fit:

As a direct result of the comments posted here, I shall never again tell a lawyer joke.

By the way, THIS.

Warm regards,

Frank

Ruckus said...

Fixer
Having worked for and known several MBA degree holders I doubt they would be capable of cleaning up after dogs. But I agree that I have much more respect for someone who picks up dog shit than I do someone who tells me they have an MBA.