Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Maybe Try Not Opening Your Mouth So Often?

NANUET [NY] — Martin Kessman says he loves White Castle burgers and has been eating them for 50-plus years, but the 290-pounder from Airmont doesn't like that he can't fit into the booths [anymore] at the Nanuet restaurant.

So the 64-year-old stockbroker is suing.
I've not done disability law in a long time. But if I remember correctly, the Americans with Disability Act deals with "major life activities". While eating is one of those, it's hard for me to see how being able to sit in a booth and cram sliders down one's gullet qualifies. The whiny honorable plaintiff also could have asked for a chair, but he apparently did not.

Hard to know whether Kessman realized that filing this lawsuit would end up making him into an object of ridicule all over the Internet. This one is probably going to displace the "hot coffee" litigation in t
he "why I hate lawyers" posts for awhile.

Update: This case made Lowering the Bar.

6 comments:

Doug T. said...

And the hot coffee litigation was justified. So, I'm now cautious about judging other cases, but this one is a real stretch unless the facts aren't reported correctly.

Mark Rossmore said...

Down here, we've got the Sonny's Barbecue chain. You can tell the average size of their clientele by the three feet of space between the booth's seat back and the table. My wife and I have to sit up and lean forward to eat comfortably.

I hardly eat there (only when visiting relatives demand it), but when I do, there's generally quite a few 300 pounders stuffing themselves along with their fat kids. Horrible.

Comrade Misfit said...

WP, I've been to the Hometown Buffet chain and it is much the same.

Doug, I know that the coffee litigation was justified; McDonald's might as well been handing over cups of molten slag (which used to fairly describe their coffee). I was referring more to the mocking on the Internet that Kessman is going to receive.

Nangleator said...

If I lived in his town, I'd like to sue him for using a disproportionate amount of the sewer system's capability.

Comrade Misfit said...

Sewer rates are generally tied in to water usage. Not always, some towns meter sewage separately, but most don't. So if he uses the toilet more, he'll pay a bit more.

I like how you're thinking, though.

w3ski said...

Maybe they need to create a "handicap Trough" for some people. That way they can eat lying down.
w3ski