Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Sunday, July 4, 2010

On This Independence Day, Greetings and Saluations to My Fellow Felons

For it is highly likely that everyone reading this blog is a felon. If you have never committed a felony crime in your life, which is damned unlikely, you probably know of someone who has. And if you did not then call the cops and report that crime, you yourself committed a felony and you could do three years in the Federal slam:
Whoever, having knowledge of the actual commission of a felony cognizable by a court of the United States, conceals and does not as soon as possible make known the same to some judge or other person in civil or military authority under the United States, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than three years, or both.
The question, of course, is what does "conceals" mean. Some courts have held that requires an action of some type, but it's unclear as to what that means.

Prosecutors would be more than happy to charge everyone with this if they could. They'd probably charge the one who committed the crime with not reporting, if the Fifth Amendment didn't stand in their way.

The states have similar type of felony charges just for fucking with people. In Connecticut, if you are on trial for something and you are late for any kind of court date, they will charge you with "failure to appear" and throw you in prison for that, even if the underlying criminal charge is no good.

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