The FBI's Make-a-Wish Kid

When Kash Patel visited Hawaiʻi last summer, the FBI took pains to note the director was not on vacation, highlighting his walking tour of the bureau's Honolulu field office and meetings with local law enforcement.

Left out of FBI's news releases was an exclusive excursion that Patel took days later when he participated in what government officials described as a “VIP snorkel” around the USS Arizona in an outing coordinated by the military. The sunken battleship entombs more than 900 sailors and Marines at Pearl Harbor.

Someone had an idea: Make a reality show of Trump officials defiling national monuments. Pretty Boy Pete can rappel off the face of Mt. Rushmore. Dumbshit Markwayne can zipline over Gettysburgh. Little Marco can set up a hot tub at Yellowstone.

"I read something like this and I think: Some of us have been so focused on their authoritarianism and abuse of power and lawlessness that we’ve perhaps neglected to point out the additional fact that these are also just terrible humans—lacking class, grace, kindness or dignity."-- Bill Kristol