Words of Advice:

"We have it totally under control. It's one person coming from China. It's going to be just fine." -- Donald Trump, 1/22/2020

“We will not see diseases like the coronavirus come here..and isn't it refreshing when contrasting it with the awful presidency of President Obama."
-- Trump Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany, 2/25/20

"I don't take responsibility for anything." --Donald Trump, 3/13/20

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

"Flying the Airplane is More Important than Radioing Your Plight to a Person on the Ground Who is Incapable of Understanding or Doing Anything About It." -- Unknown

"There seems to be almost no problem that Congress cannot, by diligent efforts and careful legislative drafting, make ten times worse." -- Me

"What the hell is an `Aluminum Falcon'?" -- Emperor Palpatine

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

Thursday, March 7, 2019

It's Hard Not to Make Fun of This Guy; Darwin Award Ed.

It's an intersection of the Darwin Awards and First World Problems:
A billionaire diamond trader has died during a penis enlargement operation at a posh Parisian clinic, it was reported.

Ehud Arye Laniado died at the age of 65 in the clinic of an unnamed plastic surgeon on the Avenue des Champs-Elysees in the French capital.

According to local media, complications during surgery proved fatal for the Belgian-Israeli dual national and he suffered a heart attack when a substance was injected into his penis.
According to media reports, Laniado suffered from a so-called Napoleon complex due his short stature. ... According to Laniado's friends, the only time he forgot about his short height was when he asked his accountant to read out his bank statement, something which he did multiple times a day.
The jokes almost write themselves. Imagine him standing before the admissions guy to Heaven/Hell/whatever and having to explain the cause of his demise. Or wandering around in the afterlife, among the millions of souls who died from famine, war or the Plague and having them whisper: "That's the guy who died from penis enlargement surgery."


Ten Bears said...

That's better than auto-erotic asphyxiation!

Notice it's the rich who off themselves thus.

Deadstick said...

Thomas, I had a high school classmate who wasn't rich...

Dark Avenger said...

Your high school classmate died during penile enlargement surgery?

Deadstick said...

No, the other way.

Unknown said...

Need a good epitaph for his "head"stone.

CenterPuke88 said...

Adrian, how about “Became stiff while seeking stiffer”? Maybe...

There once was man from Bruges,
Whose penis size wasn’t that huge,
So the doctor he stuffed it,
With all the silicon that’d fit,
Now over his grave it rains splooge.

Ten Bears said...

Well DS, I'm not unsympathetic. In fact I get pretty chapped about people making wise-cracks about Whittaker's deep-bowled toilets. They are indeed quite comfortable!

Dark Avenger said...

My great-grandfather hung himself, leaving behind grandma, her mother and a brother and sister. I am sympathetic for your loss and the reverberations of that act to your friends family that will last after you and I are long gone from this earth.

OTOH, this was truely a case of vanity outweighing common sense.

pigpen51 said...
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