Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Friday, September 8, 2017

Dear Equifax: Go Fuck Yourselves. P.S., All of Your Mothers Are Whores

They had a massive data breach, which they didn't bother to tell anyone about for over a month.

They're offering free credit monitoring, if your data was compromised. Which you can check here.

But bad as all that is, this is the kicker: If your data was compromised, then this is the response that you'll get, as of today:



In other words: "Sorry about that. Get Back to us in a week or so, and then maybe we'll help you out a little."

That, Gentle Readers, is nothing but bullshit x 10^(very large number). What they are obviously hoping for is that most people will forget and Equifax can say "hey, we offered it, but people didn't sign up." No mention that they made it inconvenient for people to sign up.

So yes, Equifax executives: Fuck you. Your mothers are all whores, and so are your fathers, spouses and children. And maybe even your pets, you ignoble bunch of thieves.

15 comments:

Sarah said...

I saw that too. This is a monumental f-up and so is the handling.

"Based on that information, you will receive a message indicating whether your personal information may have been impacted by this incident.".

I haven't received any such message.

Nope, all I see is the page you show offering "Regardless of whether your information may have been impacted, we will provide you the option to enroll in TrustedID Premier."...

3383 said...

I expect Trusted ID premier will, at best, automatically roll over to a fee based service. Paid by the customer.
Don't blame the pets and family, Comrade. They aren't the scumbags, although the parents did a shit job with them.

Marc said...

I believe a couple of their executives sold stock before the announcement was made. Gee, I wonder why?

deadstick said...

Marc...
http://gizmodo.com/hmm-i-wonder-why-these-equifax-managers-dumped-their-s-1802204611

hans said...

these companies ought to be 100% liable, plus treble punitives, for any problems individuals experience because of their negligence... wondering why they aren't already...

Ten Bears said...

Those who are not credit card rich white trash are having quite a chuckle right now, over chickens coming home to roost.

What cracks me up is the inevitability.

Comrade Misfit said...

Marc, if those executives haven't already retained while-collar defense lawyers, then they're idiots. If they meet with an investigator from the SEC or FBI without a lawyer, they really are idiots. Because they'll say something that's not true and then it's off to Camp Fed for several months.

CenterPuke88 said...

The example message is apparently for the people not "compromised", they think...

I'm hopeful this monumental fuckup will result in free credit freezes nationwide. I believe State Legislatures will act, and perhaps Congress too, to mandate no fee freezes and thaws for all consumers. Those greedy bastards will still make money, just a little less!

Nangleator said...

That little test thing requiring your last six SS digits... I'm told to be very suspicious of that, and using the tool also disqualifies you for the class action suit. Grr.

CenterPuke88 said...

I just held my nose and called Jeb Hensarling's Office to suggest that Congress pass a Law mandating free freezes and thaws with all Credit Agencies for all Americans. I hate the SOB, but it's his committee holding a hearing on the data breach, so...

Leo Knight said...

Even under the Obama administration, the SEC and FBI seemed curiously meek regarding financial wrongdoing. I expect a Trump administration, backed by a Republican legislature, to be even more pliant.

3383 said...

Thanks for the tip,Nangleator.
Let's initiate the suit quick, because everyone except the primary and their attorneys will be awarded a free fortnight of Free Credit Monitoring.

B said...

Good info:

http://money.cnn.com/2017/09/08/technology/equifax-monitoring-services/index.html?iid=hp-stack-dom

BadTux said...

Bastards.

I already monitor my credit on a monthly basis via my credit union and my credit cards (all of which do a monthly "pull" and run a credit score on it, and report that credit score to me). I could do the "freeze" thing, but I'm thinking about buying a car, and a freeze on my credit report would pretty much kill that, so. Grr.

And yeah, some of those executives, the ones who sold stocks between the time the breach was detected and the time it was reported, need to spend some time in Club Fed for insider trading....

Steve Sky said...

There are two points to pass on regarding this:
1) A random number gives the same result as entering your SSN, and you get different results depending on where you enter it.

2) As noted above, you waive your rights by using the tool or credit monitoring.