Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Friday, September 5, 2014

Stupid Perv Has a Bad Day

One young Pittsburgh pervert had a bad day when the woman he assaulted turned out to be a cop.
A dep­uty U.S. mar­shal chased down a Spring Garden teen­ager af­ter the teen pulled down her pants while she ran along a North Side trail, ac­cord­ing to court doc­u­ments re­leased Wed­nes­day. ... The woman told Pitts­burgh po­lice she was run­ning on a trail near River Avenue when she passed [Robert] Flynn [age 19]. When she was about 10 feet ahead of him, he de­cided to run be­hind her, placed his hand on her but­tocks, then pulled down her run­ning shorts, ex­pos­ing her but­tocks, ac­cord­ing to a crim­i­nal com­plaint.

The mar­shal told po­lice she pulled up her pants and chased af­ter Mr. Flynn, scream­ing, “Fed­eral mar­shal! Stop!” and ask­ing peo­ple nearby to call 911. She fol­lowed him to a stair­case be­hind an apart­ment build­ing in the 100 block of Ander­son Street and again told him to stop be­cause she was a mar­shal, po­lice said.

Mr. Flynn, who is 6 feet, 4 inches tall, “at­tempted to charge” at the mar­shal, who is 5 feet, 5 inches tall, ac­cord­ing to the com­plaint. Po­lice said the woman “feared that Flynn was go­ing to as­sault her again” so she kicked him in the crotch, grabbed him by the shoul­der and punched him in the face.
Perv Boy's charged with indecent assault (the grabbing), escape (he ran from a cop), aggravated assault (for trying to fight) and providing false ID (he told the local fuzz he was somebody else.

I have a feeling he's going to have a bit of trouble coming up with the $500,000 bond.

1 comment:

montag said...

Hm-m. A 5'5" female LEO who subdued a 6'4" male perp without shooting off a full clip or Tazing him with enough juice to light up Vegas. She is in deep doo-doo for not following proper cop form, isn't she?