The crap I've done is in bold.
1. Started your own blog (no fucking shit, what genius came up with this one)
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (grade school into high school (they didn't say a rock band))
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland (what America would be like if Germany had won the war)
8. Climbed a mountain (not a big one.)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (I'm pretty sure I'd be charged with a felony if I tried outside of the shower)
11. Bungee jumped (I am not crazy)
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty (good luck doing that nowadays)
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice (I was afraid I'd start channeling a Bugs Bunny cartoon and start laughing ("watcha you head, lola bridgeda"))
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise (does the navy count?)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (one was born in Pittsburgh)
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language (in progress, мой товарища)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (long time ago)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing (wasn't much of a rock face, but it counts)
40. Seen Michelangelo's David (goes right with #49)
41. Sung karaoke (never did it, nobody heard me, you can't prove nuttin', see)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa (Djbouti, a real shithole of a place. If God ever gives the planet an enema, the nozzle is going into Djbouti)
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing (got sick as a dog, too)
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling (snorkeling)
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (crowd shot)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business ( and lost a shitload of money, by my standards)
58. Taken a martial arts class (one session, I never went back)
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies
62. Gone whale watching (I've seen whales, but I didn't go whale watching)
63. Got flowers for no reason (and my cat George bit the heads off all of them)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving (OK, so I was crazy)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check (by the grace of Quicken, no)
68. Flown in a helicopter (five minute ride, I was lowered own by a horsecollar and I have never been so scared before or since. Even skydiving felt safer than riding in that bucket of rotating bolts.)
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial (back when you could walk up and down it and look at all of the state blocks)
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican (would have been fun to have organized a cattle stampede)
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem (and prayed at the Western Wall)
84. Had your picture in the newspaper (I was a kid, it took months to live that down)
85. Read the entire Bible (I lot interest after all of the "begats")
86. Visited the White House (as if)
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (does seafood count?)
88. Had chickenpox (and measles and mumps, all the same year. That was a miserable year for my mom)
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (Gen. Lucius D. Clay)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person (it doesn't look the same, what with being right in downtown San Antonio. Yeah, you can just visualize the Mexicans charging across the street against traffic, Jim Bridger firing a cannon over the Customs House and hitting the Riverwalk.)
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit (it's my damn job)
98. Owned a cell phone (big fucking deal in this age)
99. Been stung by a bee (and wasps and hornets)
100. Read an entire book in one day (I used to do this a lot)
101. Seen more than 5 movies in one day (see #105)
102. Spent a night in jail
103. Ridden a unicycle (and fell right on my ass)
104. Slept on the floor (see #105)
105. Passed out drunk (a very long time ago, I might add)
106. Cheated a railroad company (told them that my nephew was 4 so he could ride for free)
107. Lied about my age (whaddya mean, I don't look 21)
108. Been South of the Equator
109. Been baptized (hello? Jewish?)
110. Been to Japan
Spanks, But No Spanks
2 hours ago
4 comments:
The best part, of course, is the editorial content!
Looks like quite a life.
I was going to retort that I did all of that crap before I was 35, but then I checked and found 13 things on that list that I have done since then.
Jeez, lady, get your ass over to Paris. Screw the Mona Lisa...the Winged Victory makes it look like a slightly oversized postcard, which is what it is. Take one of the dinner cruises on the Seine as the city changes from day to night...trust me on this.
Deadstick, I'll think about it when they construct the NY-Paris RR.
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