Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Monday, August 13, 2012

"So Drown Already!" - NY Port Authority to Swimmer

A man abandoned his stalled jet-ski and swam several miles to the only lights he saw, at JFK Airport. There, rather then helping him, the Port Authority cops arrested him for not drowning criminal trespass.

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Fewer things in life are more dangerous than a goon with a gun and a badge. The jet-skier was damn lucky that they didn't just shoot him. Like a guy who was soaking wet and wearing a life preserver is some dastardly security threat.

4 comments:

montag said...

Aw, they didn't mean it. They were just pissed that he showed their $Billion Raytheon Intruder Detection System is a worthless fraud.

Nangleator said...

That's life in a banana republic.

The New York Crank said...

Well, don't be too hard on them. They may have mad in mind a landing by German saboteurs during WWII out in the Hamptons. Those guys were let go by mistake, but in the end things got much harsher than the present situation. Two of 'em, if I remember correctly, died in the electric chair. They were only caught because one of their party ratted them out, thinking Herbert Hoover would reward him.

He was awarded all right, with a long prison term. Read all about it, here: http://www.historynet.com/world-war-ii-german-saboteurs-invade-america-in-1942.htm

And that', children, is why you should never go jet-skiing at night.

Yours crankily,
The New York Crank.

w3ski said...

One report says he "walked into the terminal dripping wet" before they 'caught' him. Another report says an employe caught him on the tarmac. Big difference there too.
w3ski