Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Akin is Still Driving His Clown Car

By now, GOP doctors are heading to Missouri to wire his jaw shut.
Missouri U.S. senate candidate Todd Akin has stoked more outrage today by claiming that male homosexuality is a disease and that the medical establishment has found the cure.

The Republican congressman, already under fire for his controversial comments regarding rape, told a reporter for Cape Giradeau's KBSI 23 News that "female breastmilk - when fed directly to an adult homosexual male daily for at least four weeks - has a 94% chance of permanently curing homosexual perversions."
I suppose next that he is going to say that the Earth is flat and that the Sun is carried across the sky by a chariot pulled by heavenly steeds.

This goofball sits on the House Committee for Science, Space and Technology. He's arguably qualified, for he has a lot of empty space where most people have a functioning brain.

UPDATE: OK, it was satire. And I got sucked in. Because it is something that Akin could have said and nobody would have been a bit surprised.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

::::facepalm:::::

You know, that man's mind (ok, alleged mind) needs to be put thru the 'sanitize' cycle in my Maytag. That sniggering bit about "leaving to imagination" what lesbians need to drink to be "cured" is unbelievably filthy.

D. said...

Actually, I've been wondering when the Flat Earth Society would appear among Republicans/conservatives.

The New York Crank said...

Look, stop beating up on Mr. Akin. He's right. His information comes from a gen-u-wine medical textbook that also tells us:

• Masturbating will make you blind
• Cancer can be cured with a poultice of spiders' webs and swamp mud, applied to the swelling around the tumor and kept in place for six weeks with a rag boiled in turpentine
• Tartar is a protective coating that nature puts on teeth to prevent them from getting cavities
• Fevers can be cured by causing the ill person to bleed one or two pints of blood, thus removing all the impurities, speaking of which....
• Thinking impure thoughts causes insanity
• Thinking thoughts that are both impure and pre-verted causes double insanity.

Don't say you weren't warned.

Crankily yours,
The New York Crank

Anonymous said...

Actually, the story is apparently a joke, a spoof. How sad that is so believable because this guy DOES say such crazier-than-a-shithouse-rat things rather routinely.

Anonymous said...

Aaaaah, ya got me! I took this as truth and repeated it to my normally incredulous wife - she believed it too.