Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, December 19, 2022

Stupid Xmas Songs

There are a lot of them, but one of the dumbest ever written is I Saw Three Ships. The song says that the singer (the witness) saw three ships sail into Bethlehem on Christmas Day.

It's dumb because anyone who has access to a fucking map can tell that Bethlemen is at least thirty miles from the nearest seaport (Ashdod).

And nobody riding in a one-horse open sleigh is going to be laughing. Shivering, maybe.

7 comments:

Ten Bears said...

Could've had wheels of fire ...

Keaaukane said...

Laughing in a one horse open sleigh depends on how much they had to drink before they left.

"Pass me a pint" is my new favorite Christmas carol.

I hope you have "The Shepherd" teed up for Saturday.

Comrade Misfit said...

Oh, you know it! Check back at 2215 EST on the 24th.

dinthebeast said...

The Dropkick Murphys have the best Christmas songs.

-Doug in Sugar Pine

CenterPuke88 said...

Doug, I prefer the seasonal effort by Fear.

dan gerene said...

Actually the song jingle Bells doesn't even mention Christmas but it seems to be always sung around that time. Another thought, maybe the three ships were the spaceships that brought the Magi or the ones with the laser beams that MTG believes in and that's why the Middle East has some many non-forested areas.

w3ski said...

My favorite Christmas jingle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeZ0BUc3kMw
w3ski