Words of Advice:

"Never Feel Sorry For Anyone Who Owns an Airplane."-- Tina Marie

If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

Flying the Airplane is More Important than Radioing Your Plight to a Person on the Ground
Who is Incapable of Understanding or Doing Anything About It.
" -- Unknown

"There seems to be almost no problem that Congress cannot, by diligent efforts and careful legislative drafting, make ten times worse." -- Me

"What the hell is an `Aluminum Falcon'?" -- Emperor Palpatine

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

Sunday, May 22, 2016

An Open Letter to Whomsoever Changed the Design of Tin Cans

You suck. From hereon out, may your full name be regarded as an obscenity, not to be uttered in polite company.

This is a picture of the bottoms of two cans of pumpkin puree:

The can on the right has the old-style bottom, which is crimped/soldered onto the bottom of the can. The one on the left has an extruded bottom that is of one piece with the body of the can.

Now imagine that you need to empty those cans. You take a can-opener and open the tops of both.

The one on the right, you invert in a bowl and then remove the bottom with a standard can-opener. You lift up the body of the can and push the contents out with the severed bottom. 99+% of what's in the can slides right out, easy-peasy. Maybe you take a table knife and scrape out the rest. Hell, half of the time, it all gooped out when you had a quarter of the bottom opened. You could still then push out the rest with the severed bottom.

The one on the left, you have to go into it with a long spoon and scoop out the contents. It takes a lot more time.

Sure, they're probably saving 0.1 cents on the cost of the can. And no doubt some asshole said "who gives a fuck if the consumers don't like it. We'll make more money and what are they going to do, make their own pureed shit?"

The asswipe who proposed that probably got a big bonus. I hope his partner leaves him, his dog bites him and he gets audited by the IRS. May he live a long, hemorrhoid-inflicted life.


Cat Copeland said...

WOW!!! Someone needs a Snickers!!! However, YOU made sense. You gave me "puree" ah, food for thought! Excellent!!!!

Marc said...

I applauded the pull-tab addition to cat food cans - my kitties don't know what the sound of an electric can opener means. But yes, there are foods where being able to open both ends is expected - like cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving dinner. Should be a list of who still produces the 'can opener useable at both ends' for these foods.

B said...

so open the top of the can.

invert can in a bowl.

Punch a small hole to let air in in more or less in the center.

lift can.

Nearly all of the Pumpkin will slurp out

ShortWoman said...

Oddly enough, I was thinking that the one on the left stacks better with less falling over in the pantry. Or more likely, to reduce labor costs in the grocery store for the kid who has to stack those cans.

Eck! said...

Only one word.... K-bar!

This is a use for the tactical edge tool.


And yes it really sucks they put cranberry sauce in that.


Seth lePod said...

Not only that, if what's in the can is a plug, not something runny -- refried beans for example -- you could remove the top, turn it upside down, and use an old style triangular punch to open a hole in the bottom, thus letting air in and the bolus to slide out. No longer: there's now no rim for the triangular punch to pivot on.

Deadstick said...


No problem: just hold the churchkey in your fist and stab.

Lawrence said...

Refried beans usually come in the left can type. I hold the opened can inverted over the pan I want them in, grab the cleaver out of the knife drawer, and punch the can bottom with the back point of the cleaver blade. Cleavers (European, not Asian) have an axe edge and not a knife edge, so it doesn't do any damage.

.45ACP+P said...

I know I am late to the party but.....
You can stack the left can in your pantry. With limited space I love the newer design and hate the old one. I seem to be a minority.