Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Who Needs a Hummer

(The vehicle, dumbass.)

Men with tiny dicks, apparently.
Posted by on or about 21:09

2 comments:

deadstick said...

Could be worse...I once encountered a guy whose surrogate shlong was a heavy-duty chainsaw. Creepy.

7/12/2008 9:33 PM
BadTux said...

And the funny thing is, the Hummer H2 and Hummer H3 aren't even good offroad vehicles. They're all bark and no bite. The H2 is a Chevrolet Suburban with a bad plastic surgery job. The Hummer H3 is a Chevrolet Colorado pick up truck with a bad plastic surgery job. Neither is as good as the vehicle they're based on when it comes to offroad work, because they've added too much weight and bulk to a chassis that was already only marginal for the task. And neither the Suburban or Colorado was noted for offroad capability in the first place. (Also note that the original H1 has been discontinued -- it could not meet emissions standards with the old Detroit Diesel 5-cylinder diesel engine that it was built around, and GM decided it wasn't worth figuring out how to put a gasoline engine into the thing given that they sold under 1,000 of them per year).

My almost-stock Jeep Wrangler will go into places that no Hummer could ever dream of going no matter how much money you threw at it (because those overweight over-plasticky ten-foot-wide piles of dung simply will not fit on those narrow mountain shelf roads). But then, I bought the Wrangler to go places, not to enhance my penis size... which is why it's almost stock, because almost stock it gets me everywhere I need to go, I don't need 35" tires the size of small mountains and a 10 inch lift to do what I want to do with the vehicle (mostly, explore the backcountry roads in the northern Mojave Desert).

-Badtux the Offroad Penguin

7/13/2008 1:32 PM

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