Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Friday, November 20, 2015

Registering Muslims?

How will one find a Muslim?

As I understand it, there is one and only one step to becoming a Muslim: One must say a single sentence, and believe in its truth. The sentence is: "There is no god but God and Muhammad is the messenger of God."

That is the Declaration of Faith, one of the five pillars of Islam. The others are Prayer (five times a day), Charity (donations of money or accomplishing good works if one is poor), Fasting (observance of Ramadan) and Pilgrimage (to Mecca).

Like any other religion, there are different sects that tack on other things, but observe, if you will, that nowhere is it required to join any particular mosque.

But the Declaration of Faith is all that is mandatory. No visiting of a mosque, no certification of an imam, no central registry with the Saudi embassy, none of that.[1]

So how does one go about finding the Muslims? Supposedly a Chinese emperor wanted to do that a few hundred years ago. When he ordered his generals to find and kill them, the generals asked how they could determine who was a Muslim. The Emperor told them to kill anyone who wouldn't eat pork, which resulted in the near extermination of the Chinese Jews.[2]

How does The Donald and his neo-fascists plan to accomplish their task? Or do they think that all Muslims in this country have brown skin, drive taxis and eat falafel?[3]
_____________________________________
[1] I researched this elsewhere, because who knows if DHS or the NSA or somebody isn't tracking those who look into the tenets of Islam?
[2] That's what I was told in an Asian history class, decades ago.
[3] Just ask Mike Huckabee.

3 comments:

Nangleator said...

Ooh, ooh! Pick me!

The Donald doesn't know and doesn't care! He just wants EVERYONE listed and tracked and traced and wiretapped. Extraordinary circumstances! The current emergency!

The real filtering will happen AFTER the ride in the cattle car. Move along, now!

CenterPuke88 said...

Nan got Der Fuhrer's, ER, Trump's plan in one...next.

S O said...

The issue is even more amazing considering that Muslim haters frequently call them "liars" becuase a Muslim is allowed to lie and claim he's no Muslim. Christians were expected to be rather martyrs than to pretend that they're no Christians, but Mohammed allowed Muslims to pretend they're no Muslims.

This makes the whole "Muslim detection" issue even more impractical.