Words of Advice:

"Never Feel Sorry For Anyone Who Owns an Airplane."-- Tina Marie

If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

Flying the Airplane is More Important than Radioing Your Plight to a Person on the Ground
Who is Incapable of Understanding or Doing Anything About It.
" -- Unknown

"There seems to be almost no problem that Congress cannot,
by diligent efforts and careful legislative drafting, make ten times worse.
" -- Me

"What the hell is an `Aluminum Falcon'?" -- Emperor Palpatine

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

Friday, January 11, 2008

Medicating the 4-Legged Buzz Saw

So this is how it goes each morning:

Step 1) Prep syringe with liquid antibiotics (1/2cc).

Step 2) Don leather gloves.

Step 3) Pick up the cat.

Step 4) Take cat to kitchen.

Step 5) Wrap cat in bath towel.

Step 6) Kneel on floor, knees apart, feet together. Place cat between legs.

Step 7) Open cat's mouth.

Step 8) Squirt in medicine.

Somewhere between steps 4 and 5, the cat becomes uncooperative. Somewhere between #5 and #6, the cat goes into "4-armed switchblade-toting windmill" mode. He tries to squirm back to pull his head back into the towel like a turtle. Numerous sound effects (whining and growling from cat, cursing from me) are emitted. Between #6 and #7, the cat is in full "I'm getting outta here" mode, as I try to hold him down and keep the towel from becoming unraveled.

He sometimes gets a front paw loose and whacks at my hand, but because I've both clipped his claws recently and I'm wearing gloves, that has no effect. That's a good thing, as I neither need more scars nor a trip to the ER to sew up a gash ("I was trying to medicate my cat, Doc").

I pry open his jaws, he twists his head hard, so he gets his head out of my hand. Somewhere in the process, a millisecond passes where his jaws are open and the syringe is in place, and that's when I squirt in the medicine.

That's when I let him go and he runs into the bedroom to hide. And I go get ready for work.


Bustednuckles said...

I hate to laugh too hard because I have been there, wait, thats WHY I'm laughing, it ain't just me!
There is a story/joke out there somewhere about this from the cat's viewpoint. If I ever find it I'll forward it to you because it's hilarious.
Good luck, Doctor.

Weez said...

Here ya go!

Bustednuckles said...

Thats the one!

Bustednuckles said...

Not exactly from the cats view but still funny as hell.