Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Oh, the Humanity; Doughnut Ed.

A Krispy Kreme truck caught fire, so the krispy kremes became krispy kritters:


The cops, of course, were goofing around. Going along with the gag, Krispy Kreme gave the cops 20 dozen free doughnuts.

2 comments:

dinthebeast said...

Some cops do have a sense of humor about the doughnut stereotype.
When I was trying my best to hold the company I worked for up from its inevitable mismanaged demise, my job was basically to stay there until all of the work was done and the delivery routes were ready to go out the next morning.
I was there very late by myself a lot.
One night I was loading a truck backed up to the side door, and I stopped to go pee.
On my way back, I heard voices on the main warehouse aisle, so I stopped at the coat rack and got my ID.
It was two Emeryville cops wanting to know why someone was taking stuff from a warehouse and putting it in a truck at one in the morning, an entirely reasonable request.
After I satisfied them that I wasn't stealing and was working instead, and not any happier about it than they were, I asked them if they were new to the beat, as I was under the impression that the EPD knew what was going on late at night at Tumbleweed.
They said they were indeed new to the assignment, and thanked me for filling them in on the suspicious activity that they didn't have to investigate further.
So I asked them what they were up to all night in Emeryville.
"Well, we try to get in a couple of doughnuts..."
Which I liked a lot better than the other EPD officer who told me he would draw down on me any time he found a door not fully closed late at night.

-Doug in Oakland

Glenn Kelley said...

So basically a grease fire .