Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Thursday, April 3, 2014

"Please Stay on the Line, We Value Your Call"

If you valued my call, I wouldn't now be on hold for fifteen minutes in order to speak to one of your motherfucking "customer service" agents.

You cocksuckers.

3 comments:

The New York Crank said...

I've long suspected that the reason we stay on the line so long waiting to speak of "one of" their customer service representatives is, there only is only one customer service representative., and that person is out to lunch.

Very crankily yours,
The New York Crank

w3ski said...

Yea, just how "valuable" is my call when they make me wait 20 minutes?
Are they going to charge me by the minute?
And True, we are waiting for the "only" customer service person.
My personal pet peeve is when they tell me twice a minute that I can reach them at www.idontknow. IF I Could have solved this online, I Would Have! Idiots.
Hurrrumpf
w3ski

Sevesteen said...

If you value my call and aren't trying to annoy me off the phone: Instead of playing obnoxious music at an obnoxious volume with an obnoxious level of distortion, play something quiet, instrumental and inoffensive, just loud enough to know I haven't been hung up on. Instead of playing a recording "we care, will be with you shortly" over and over, don't have any recorded voices once I'm on hold until just before a real person comes on the line--so I can do something else and not have to pay attention every 90 seconds only to find it's just your recording caring about me again. Bonus points if after making me enter details before getting connected to a real person, that person has those details available.