Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

"Flying the Airplane is More Important than Radioing Your Plight to a Person on the Ground
Who is Incapable of Understanding or Doing Anything About It." -- Unknown

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level
and then beat you with experience.” -- Mark Twain

"John Wick didn't kill all those people because they broke his toaster." -MickAK

"Everything is easy if somebody else is the one doing it." -- Me

"What the hell is an `Aluminum Falcon'?" -- Emperor Palpatine

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

Monday, April 30, 2012

Shrink, I Wanna Kill; Cross-Country Moving Edition

It will be eight days after I told the movers that I wanted my shit delivered to the day when they tell me my shit will be delivered.  Seems that the moving company took "I want my shit delivered on XYZ" to mean "I want you to ship my shit from the warehouse which is thirteen hundred miles away on XYZ".

Now why any customer could give a rat's ass what day the stuff left the warehouse is beyond me.  It's when the crap gets delivered that matters.

I presume that there is indescribable fuckery to come before this evolution is concluded.

But since I don't have Internet access at home, I've not been  paying much attention to what goes on past the visible horizon.


Nangleator said...

The world would be a happier place if you could lock exploding neck rings around the movers' necks, and just apply some simple logic to when they get unlocked... or explode.

My one move with professional movers, I moved to a place called Dracut from two towns away. The movers had "Dracut" in their company name. They took three hours to make the trip, thus pushing their time into the overtime zone.

Eight days, though... Those guys should have had exploding nutsack collars. Ones that extended a hundred electrified needles inward... very slowly... right up until the time they went molten.

BadTux said...

I presume that there is indescribable fuckery to come before this evolution is concluded.

Sure. The moving industry is dominated by the Russian Mafia, sadly usually travelling on Israeli passports for historic reasons (the Israelis *really* should have examined the papers of those fleeing the crumbling Soviet Union claiming yid grannies more carefully, it has caused no end of grief there that they did not do so, the Russian Mafia took advantage of the opportunity to set up an overseas branch office and have used that branch office to expand to the USA). So expect much fuckery.

1) If it's a LTTL move (i.e., your goods didn't fill up a full truck), your goods will wind all over the countryside before they get to you as the truck is picking up and delivering other people's loads.

2) The movers will get to the door and demand twice the quote to unload. If you object, they'll say "Fine, we'll drive away and it'll fall off the back of the truck on the freeway somewhere, too bad." If you threaten to sue them, they'll laugh -- they are judgement-proof, the truck is leased, the office is leased, the office equipment is leased, they're paid in cash and pay most of their expenses in cash so have little money in bank accounts to seize, and if you make things *too* hot on them they'll just disappear and pop up in some other town under a different name and good luck finding them again.

3) If you manage to negotiate with them to get them to actually deliver, you'll discover that they didn't bother picking up moving labor. So you'll have the driver and his girlfriend, and if you want your house unloaded, you'll need to help them do it 'cause else it ain't gettin' done anytime soon.

4) You'll find that most of the boxes are smashed beyond recognition, while anything that looked valuable is missing. They'll say "File a claim." You do so. The moving company then claims that the goods must have been smashed before being put in the truck and you're just trying to scam them, and they'll reimburse you 60 cents per pound for the missing items, which weighed maybe 40 pounds. Your check for $24.00 is in the mail. What, you want to sue them? See #2 above.

5) You made the mistake of leaving some personal papers in one of the boxes that had your SSN and other identifying information on it, and maybe some old checkbooks or something. A year later you check your credit report and discover that you have an entirely new life in an entirely different city, several default judgements against you for passing bad checks, and maybe even a warrant for your arrest outstanding for passing bad checks.

Now that's if the move goes badly. If the move goes well, you'll find a few things missing, a few things broken, but nothing major. It'll probably end up costing more than quoted, so make sure to have sufficient extra cash on hand to cover that. And oh, because by and large they've set things up so they're judgement-proof, they won't be afraid of you if you point out that you're a lawyer. It'll make them chuckle. So it goes.

- Badtux the Moved Penguin

Stephanie Belser said...
This comment has been removed by the author.