Trump's July 4th: If the Heat Doesn't Kill You, the Pollution Will

First off, you can't bring coolers to his corrupt event. You have to buy it there. You can't bring a lawn chair, so you're standing or plotzing on the ground.

Second, you have to be there by 6PM:

Third, the fireworks don't start until 11PM, a full five hours after the security entrance closes. Which gives everybody hours to bake in the heat and humidity of a D.C. near-record summer day. The reason it's starting late is because it's not a non-partisan patriotic event, it's a Trump rally. And every one should know that, when he gets wound up, he can blabber nonsense for hours on end.

Fourth, because Donnie the Demented is focused on big numbers, his minions will set off more than forty times as many fireworks as a normal "Capitol Fourth" show. The smoke on the Mall may be more intense than that of a Napoleonic battlefield.

Baking heat, thick smoke and the lengthy rantings of a demented narcissitic lunatic. What's not to like for the dedicated MAGAidiot?