Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Friday, June 17, 2022

The Shade of John Haralson is Smiling

The "peecyclers" are recycling uring to use as plant fertilizer.

Recycling urine was done during the Civil War for different reasons. The Southerners made a poem about it:

John Harrolson, John Harrolson, you are a wretched creature! You've added to this bloody war a new and awful feature. You'd have us think while every man is bound to be a fighter The ladies, bless the dears, should save their pee for nitre.

John Harrolson, John Harrolson, where did you get the notion To send your barrel round the town to gather up the lotion? We thought the girls had work enough making shirts and kissing But you have put the pretty dears to patriotic pissing.

John Harrolson, John Harrolson, do pray invent a neater And somewhat more modest mode of making your saltpetre For 'tis an awful idea, John, gunpowdery and cranky, That when a lady lifts her shift, she's killing off a Yankee.

That fell into Union hands and a response was soon forthcoming:

John Harrolson, John Harrolson, we've heard in song and story How through the years, women's tears have moistened fields of glory But never was it told before amid such scenes of slaughter Your Southern beauties dried their tears and went to making water.

No wonder Rebel boys are brave - who wouldn't be a fighter If every time he fired his gun, he used his sweetheart's nitre? And visa-versa, what could make a Yankee soldier sadder Than dodging bullets fired from a pretty woman's bladder?

They say there was a subtle smell that lingered in that powder And as the smoke grew thicker and the din of battle louder That there was found to this compound one serious objection: No soldier boy could sniff it without having an erection.

And yes, he was a real person.

2 comments:

Ten Bears said...

Maybe someone should do something about it.

Oh yeah, that's right, someone is doing something about it: a couple of soon to be unemployed Republicans, while the Democrats stand around and go "yay!"

Ten Bears said...

[that was supposed to be on the DeJoy post]