Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Saturday, July 29, 2017

I Can't Even....

The actual headline:
State Police arrest one-armed ‘creepy clown’ with machete
Posted by on or about 18:06
Labels: ,

4 comments:

The New York Crank said...

This is the line that makes the whole story worthwhile: "troopers say Berry used duct tape to secure the machete to his amputated arm"

Didn't I read something like that in a Carl Hiaasen novel?

Yours crankily,
The New York Crank

7/29/2017 10:48 PM
CenterPuke88 said...

I'm having the most fun contemplating just how you duct tape a machete to your amputated arm with only one hand, while drunk.

7/30/2017 11:25 AM
Comrade Misfit said...

NYC, I think that was a weed-whacker.

7/30/2017 12:08 PM
BadTux said...

In Maine. Not in Florida.

That's what makes the whole story. You expect such shenanigans of Florida Man, the world's most inept supervillain (google "Florida man" in quotes, I'll wait ;) ). Hell, Carl Hiaasen writes documentaries, not fiction (that's what a friend of mine in Florida says anyhow!). But Maine? Not so much!

Though granted, the only thing I know about Maine is what I read in Stephen King novels, since he sets his novels in his home state so often....

7/30/2017 1:56 PM

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