Find the rabbit!
20 hours ago
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
OMG! Happy Days Are Here Again!
If Bernanke says a "recession is possible," then we are somewhere in between a "recession" and "if you want to eat meat, find some road kill" depression. For when these gusy say "the room feels warm," that means "the house is on fire."
Election Results Leaked
Diebold accidentally leaked the results of the 2008 election.
(It's the Onion, folks. Get a grip.)
(It's the Onion, folks. Get a grip.)
Torture Nation; Part 2
According to John Yoo, the President can decide to torture anyone he wants, because international law doesn't bind anyone. Treaties are not binding, at least on this group of idiots. Torture, according to Yoo, requires permanent injury, organ failure or death to be "torture."
This is a sound-powered field telephone.
What is not readily apparent is the calling crank. When you want to make a call to the other phone on the line, you turn a crank rapidly and it makes a squealing sound on the other end. This shipboard version shows the crank:
They are also used to torture people. What you do is attach the two leads from one of these telephones to the body of the torture victim; you then turn the crank rapidly, which sends a painful electrical current through the victim. In South America, the cops liked to attach the leads to the genitals. In Russia, the cops attach them to the earlobes and make a "phone call to Putin."
By John Yoo's definition, that would not be torture.
So I propose this: Let's do that to John Yoo and then ask him if the thinks that is torture. Let's douse him with ice water, hang him up by his wrists in a very cold room and then ask him in ten hours if he thinks that is torture. Let's do the full range of CIA "interrogation methods" on him, including waterboarding, and see if he still holds to his idea. We can also do this to John Ashcroft and Alberto Gonzalez, for that matter. I will wager that it will take very little time at all for them to change their minds on this issue.
This way, they can have first-hand experience in what they have brought about: The destruction of the reputation of the United States as a nation that operates by the rule of law, by respect for human rights. John Yoo provided the intellectual (if that term can be applied to over 80 pages of feces-smeared reasoning) basis for reducing the United States to a nation that operates by the whim of the Executive, which makes us no different, other than scope, from any of the many tinpot dictatorships of the last several decades.
This is not something where we can say "we've gotten rid of those guys, we're back to normal." (Ask the Germans how that has worked for them.) This stain on our national soul, on our national honor, will take a very long time to wash out.
We can start by asking the University of California's Berkeley School of Law why they saw fit to hire a torturer to teach law students about international law. Nowhere does he mention on his bio that he wrote a memorandum advocating the use of torture.
I guess we can consider ourselves lucky that the Columbia School of Journalism never got a chance to hire Joseph Goebbels.
This is a sound-powered field telephone.
What is not readily apparent is the calling crank. When you want to make a call to the other phone on the line, you turn a crank rapidly and it makes a squealing sound on the other end. This shipboard version shows the crank:
They are also used to torture people. What you do is attach the two leads from one of these telephones to the body of the torture victim; you then turn the crank rapidly, which sends a painful electrical current through the victim. In South America, the cops liked to attach the leads to the genitals. In Russia, the cops attach them to the earlobes and make a "phone call to Putin."
By John Yoo's definition, that would not be torture.
So I propose this: Let's do that to John Yoo and then ask him if the thinks that is torture. Let's douse him with ice water, hang him up by his wrists in a very cold room and then ask him in ten hours if he thinks that is torture. Let's do the full range of CIA "interrogation methods" on him, including waterboarding, and see if he still holds to his idea. We can also do this to John Ashcroft and Alberto Gonzalez, for that matter. I will wager that it will take very little time at all for them to change their minds on this issue.
This way, they can have first-hand experience in what they have brought about: The destruction of the reputation of the United States as a nation that operates by the rule of law, by respect for human rights. John Yoo provided the intellectual (if that term can be applied to over 80 pages of feces-smeared reasoning) basis for reducing the United States to a nation that operates by the whim of the Executive, which makes us no different, other than scope, from any of the many tinpot dictatorships of the last several decades.
This is not something where we can say "we've gotten rid of those guys, we're back to normal." (Ask the Germans how that has worked for them.) This stain on our national soul, on our national honor, will take a very long time to wash out.
We can start by asking the University of California's Berkeley School of Law why they saw fit to hire a torturer to teach law students about international law. Nowhere does he mention on his bio that he wrote a memorandum advocating the use of torture.
I guess we can consider ourselves lucky that the Columbia School of Journalism never got a chance to hire Joseph Goebbels.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
The Impossible Task
Via the Alternate Brain, comes this slightly redacted letter from a young officer serving in Iraq.
"It becomes almost impossible to find a purpose in what we do."
Indeed.
"It becomes almost impossible to find a purpose in what we do."
Indeed.
Public Shaming Scorches Wal-Mart!!
Wal-Mart has decided to let Deborah Shank keep the money from her settlement.
"We have decided to modify our plan to allow us more discretion for individual cases, and are in the final stages of working out the details. Wal-Mart will not seek any reimbursement for the money already spent on Ms. Shank's care, and we will work with the family to ensure the remaining amounts in the trust can be used for her ongoing care."
Yeah. They were willing to take $400,000 from a brain-damaged disabled woman until people like Keith Olbermann, Anderson Cooper, newspaper editorialists and everyone else around the Internet began hammering on them for being a bunch of soulless and greedy weasels.
Wal-Mart finally did the right thing, but this is not an example of Wal-Mart finding its moral center or operating out of the goodness of its heart. This is an example of Wal-Mart obeying the Dirksen Rule: "When I feel the heat, I see the light." They were getting beaten daily and they wanted to stop the bleeding.
UPDATE: Keith Olbermann pointed out that Shank still had to pay tens of thousands of dollars to her lawyers to try to stop Wal-Mart from taking all of her money. He's right, it'd be really nice for Wal-Mart to make her whole from the costs of fighting off those greedy fucktards.
But I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for that to happen.
Wal-Mart. Always Douchebags.
"We have decided to modify our plan to allow us more discretion for individual cases, and are in the final stages of working out the details. Wal-Mart will not seek any reimbursement for the money already spent on Ms. Shank's care, and we will work with the family to ensure the remaining amounts in the trust can be used for her ongoing care."
Yeah. They were willing to take $400,000 from a brain-damaged disabled woman until people like Keith Olbermann, Anderson Cooper, newspaper editorialists and everyone else around the Internet began hammering on them for being a bunch of soulless and greedy weasels.
Wal-Mart finally did the right thing, but this is not an example of Wal-Mart finding its moral center or operating out of the goodness of its heart. This is an example of Wal-Mart obeying the Dirksen Rule: "When I feel the heat, I see the light." They were getting beaten daily and they wanted to stop the bleeding.
UPDATE: Keith Olbermann pointed out that Shank still had to pay tens of thousands of dollars to her lawyers to try to stop Wal-Mart from taking all of her money. He's right, it'd be really nice for Wal-Mart to make her whole from the costs of fighting off those greedy fucktards.
But I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for that to happen.
Wal-Mart. Always Douchebags.
I Might Move to Texas
This morning, I went to go to Ye Olde Salte Mine. I opened the door to my car and got a whiff of tobacco smoke. "That's strange," I thought. I got into the car and the smell was a lot stronger.
I don't smoke. Nobody else drives my car.
It was raining last night. I live in a small apartment complex, there is really never any trouble, so I have fallen out of the habit of locking my car. I hadn't locked it when I came home.
It didn't take CSI Duluth to figure this one out. It had been raining. Some kid probably sneaked out of his or her apartment to walk the dog and, as it was raining, looked for a dry place to light up a coffin nail. My car was parked right next to the sidewalk alongside the parking lot, so the kid used my car as a smoking shelter. I got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side and sure enough, there was a cigarette butt on the blacktop right by the car's door.
I drove to work with the windows cracked open. Once I arrived, I used the office can of air freshener to spray down the interior of my car. By the time I was ready to go home, the inside of the car smelled all right.
Do they let you shoot people who do that in Texas?
I don't smoke. Nobody else drives my car.
It was raining last night. I live in a small apartment complex, there is really never any trouble, so I have fallen out of the habit of locking my car. I hadn't locked it when I came home.
It didn't take CSI Duluth to figure this one out. It had been raining. Some kid probably sneaked out of his or her apartment to walk the dog and, as it was raining, looked for a dry place to light up a coffin nail. My car was parked right next to the sidewalk alongside the parking lot, so the kid used my car as a smoking shelter. I got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side and sure enough, there was a cigarette butt on the blacktop right by the car's door.
I drove to work with the windows cracked open. Once I arrived, I used the office can of air freshener to spray down the interior of my car. By the time I was ready to go home, the inside of the car smelled all right.
Do they let you shoot people who do that in Texas?
Sign This Guy Up for the Republican Party!
Ohio man arrested for having sex with a picnic table.
Yes, you read that correctly. He was fucking a piece of furniture. And he probably didn't take the poor table to a movie or buy it dinner before he fucked it.
Yes, you read that correctly. He was fucking a piece of furniture. And he probably didn't take the poor table to a movie or buy it dinner before he fucked it.
Feeding at the Trough
The GAO has found that 95 major weapons acquisition programs run by the Pentagon are billions of dollars over budget and years behind schedule.
One of the major pigs is the Navy's "littoral combat ship," which is 100% over budget. Boeing can't build an aircraft radio without going 300% over budget.
I guess this is what having a MBA as a president gets you.
One of the major pigs is the Navy's "littoral combat ship," which is 100% over budget. Boeing can't build an aircraft radio without going 300% over budget.
I guess this is what having a MBA as a president gets you.
"A Defining Moment in Iraq"
"I would say that [attacking the Mahdi Army] is a defining moment in the history of a free Iraq. There have been other defining moments up to now but this is a defining moment," Bush said.
A cease-fire was brokered with the assistance of Iranian Brig. Gen. Qassem Suleimani, who is the commander of the Quds Force.
It seems to be a near-unanimous consensus (outside of the Bush Administration) that the attack by the Iraqi Army was a failure. The main winner was Moqtada al-Sadr. Prime Minister al-Maliki tried to take out Sadr's militia, he had to call in American and British support and then couldn't crush the militia.
"Defining moment," indeed. It defined Iran as the real power broker in Iraq.
Beyond that, let's not forget that this latest fiasco came right on the heels of the recent visit to Iraq by our own Vice President Voldemort. So it is indeed quite possible that this latest disaster has his fingerprints all over it.
A cease-fire was brokered with the assistance of Iranian Brig. Gen. Qassem Suleimani, who is the commander of the Quds Force.
It seems to be a near-unanimous consensus (outside of the Bush Administration) that the attack by the Iraqi Army was a failure. The main winner was Moqtada al-Sadr. Prime Minister al-Maliki tried to take out Sadr's militia, he had to call in American and British support and then couldn't crush the militia.
"Defining moment," indeed. It defined Iran as the real power broker in Iraq.
Beyond that, let's not forget that this latest fiasco came right on the heels of the recent visit to Iraq by our own Vice President Voldemort. So it is indeed quite possible that this latest disaster has his fingerprints all over it.
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