Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Coffee Clown Proves That He's a Serious Putz; Mad Libs Ed.

This is an example of his shtick:It's Howard's version of Mad Libs: "Trump’s _____________________ is just the latest example of the dysfunction in Washington. Both parties should focus on getting results, rather than party politics."

Anything could fit in there: "groping a girl scout", "murdering a hobo", "using Devin Nunes as his personal fluffer", "getting a golden shower in Moscow". Trump does something outrageous and, in Howard's strange skull, that's now partially the fault of the Democrats. Does Howie believe that, if not for the Democrats, Trump would be a cool, collected policy wonk like Obama? Is he nuts?

Nah, not really. He's just another oligarch who figures that hawking coffee makes him qualified to do something that he's got no experience in doing. "Hey, I can run a coffee shop, how hard can it be to fly an A-380?"

Howie the Coffee Clown should go back to selling his overpriced, bitter, stupidly-named swill.

8 comments:

B said...

I get a malware warning when I go to the AtomicNerds site.

Both Chrome and IE

Eck! said...

I pass always on the bitter swill.
Best coffee based on quality and price... Any diner, truck stop, or greasy
spoon worth its stuff in the NY/NJ region. Its just coffee and plenty of
it. You sit down and they come at you with mug and a pot to pour now!

Worst coffee I've experienced, south of the Mason-Dixon line, sorry boys
chicory don't cut it. Its weak and dilutes with a drop of milk.

Eck!

The New York Crank said...

What "results" is Howard The Spoiler talking about? Further cutting taxes for the rich? Eliminating Social Security and Medicare? Nuking....I dunno, Paris? Or maybe reducing the flow of bullshit into America's news stream, which he could do by sewing up his own mouth.

Yours with extreme crankiness,
The New York Crank

Comrade Misfit said...

B, that's odd. Opera and Firefox aren't giving that warning.

Comrade Misfit said...

B, check your email.

B said...

Thank yew

dinthebeast said...

I don't like, but sort of understand the broadcast and print media serving their business model of "both sides" because they 1) feel like if they report any asymmetric blame or credit for any story they cover they will be accused of being partisan, no matter how glaringly obvious the situation really is, which 2) will alienate a sector of their audience that they can't afford to lose in this internet dominated media environment. Thus you have otherwise functional newspapers in Trump country running Ann Coulter on the op-ed page (yes, I know she's a never-Trumper now, but she wasn't when those editorial decisions got made).
It's bad for the country whenever the citizenry loses access to facts that are required for the making of the decisions of citizenship.
But the generic term for an aspiring officeholder saying "both sides" is lying.
Which works to support the malfeasance being served up by the media, wash, rinse, repeat.

We dodged the Bloomberg bullet, now can we dodge this one?

-Doug in Oakland

dinthebeast said...

Damn, I may have spoken too soon. Bloomberg now says he'll consider running if Biden doesn't run.

-Doug in Oakland