Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Hey, DHS, How Do You Like This Blog?

Here is a list of the words that the NKVD DHS uses to look for suspect writings on social media sites.

The Vulgar Curmudgeon suggests seeding some of them into every text, tweet, FB post, blog post or email that is sent. I don't know how to avoid them, frankly. Was there a drug bust of a meth lab in your neighborhood? Did your airline flight get delayed or cancelled because of lightning or a snow storm?  Was there a power outage?  Did you strain your back planting your spring garden plot so you could have some home grown produce? If you didn't get immunized, and you had symptoms of influenza, did you take any Tamiflu?  When you drove over the bridge across the Interstate to buy a new gas can for your rototiller, did it leak and did you ask for help? When you rode AMTRAK, did they give you ice in your drink?  Maybe you got a quick sandwich at Subway?

Every underlined word in the previous paragraph is one of the words that the DHS screens for.  Assholes.

1 comment:

bmq215 said...

I'm sure it's used in conjunction with an algorithm than scans for combination and usage instead of just flagging anything with a single keyword or even a set like you just posted. Otherwise the volume would be far too large to ever look into.

You'll have use other words like you would if you were a jihadi extremist from Yemen bent on causing terror. Or perhaps a member of MS-13 or Los Zetas looking into trafficking the product of a meth lab. You might even get flagged if you were some 2600 reading 1337 hacker investigating China's DDOS attacks.

Hey, this is kinda fun...